Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others, And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling? Or is something within me still like a beaten army, Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved? Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am Thine! - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "Who Am I?" (a poem written from Nazi prison; 1944)
(Pray this prayer slowly, reverently. What parts speak to you? Voice your own prayer to God in response.)
Readings of the Day
1 TM 3:1-13; PS 101:1-3, 5-6; LK 7:11-17
R. I will walk with blameless heart.
Of mercy and judgment I will sing; to you, O LORD, I will sing praise.
I will persevere in the way of integrity; when will you come to me?
I will walk with blameless heart, within my house; I will not set before my eyes any base thing.
Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I destroy. The man of haughty eyes and puffed up heart I will not endure.
My eyes are upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me. He who walks in the way of integrity shall be in my service.
Jesus' actions in today's readings show us that God views the death of young people as a tragedy. In vain do we search for mysterious and hidden designs to help us understand how God can permit such tragedies, for it is God's will that we eventually eliminate them. The suffering of a woman whose child has died shall forever move the heart of Jesus.
Do you believe in bad and good luck? Do you believe that everything that happens to people is God's will?
Picture this scene in your imagination from the viewpoint of a disciple. Hear the wailing of the mourners as you approach the town; note the agony on the face of the mother; watch Jesus as he intervenes; experience the wonder of the moment as the boy returns to life.
How this soul grew by means of the divine response, and how her sorrows grew less, and how she prayed to God for the Holy Church, and for her own people.
- Catherine is speaking of "man," or the human condition
"Wherefore You gave him memory in order to receive Your benefits, by which he participates in the power of the Eternal Father; and intellect that he might know, seeing Your goodness, and so might participate in the wisdom of Your only-begotten Son; and will, that he might love that which his intellect has seen and known of Your truth, thus participating in the clemency of Your Holy Spirit. What reason had You for creating man in such dignity? The inestimable love with which You saw Your creature in Yourself, and became enamored of him, for You created him through love, and destined him to be such that he might taste and enjoy Your Eternal Good. I see therefore that through his sin he lost this dignity in which You originally placed him, and by his rebellion against You, fell into a state of war with Your kindness, that is to say, we all became Your enemies.
From: The Dialog of Catherine of Siena [1347-1380] - Dictated by her while in a state of ecstasy to her secretaries and completed in 1370.
Listed below are several traditional methods of prayer and reflection. As St. Frances de Sales noted, we learn to pray by praying, but it is also good to try different methods to see which seem to help facilitate connection with God. Indeed, the more we learn different methods, the better we can sense how the Spirit is moving us to pray for any given prayer time.
First, you choose a passage of Scripture that you will pray with. It might be the Gospel reading used in the liturgy of the day, or anything else you want. The process then follows these steps:
Reading (lectio) After settling in and quieting yourself,read the passage slowly, prayerfully. Just let it sink in for a minute or two, then read it a second time, paying closer attention to the words or phrases that speak to you.
Reflecting (meditatio) What do you hear God saying to you in this passage? What words or phrases caught your attention?
Responding (oratio) What do you want to say to God in response to what you've heard? Here you can also voice your prayers of petition, remorse, thanksgiving, praise, and so forth. If you sense God speaking to you in your thoughts, feelings or imagination, you respond as you would in any conversation.
Resting (contemplatio) If, at any time, you feel drawn to simply rest in the awareness of God's loving presence, you let yourself do so. Remain in loving silence as long as you feel comfortable, perhaps using a simple word or phrase from the Scripture passage to help deepen your openness to rest in God (see Centering Prayer method, below)
(Works best after a period of Lectio Divina, as described above; two 20 minute periods a day are recommended.)
This term, centering prayer, is of recent origin, but the method is described in many places, most notably The Cloud of Unknowing.
1. Choose a sacred word as the symbol of your intention to consent to God's presence and action within. (This can be any word.)
2. Sitting comfortably and with eyes closed, settle briefly, and silently introduce the sacred word as the symbol of your consent to God's presence and action within.
3. When you become aware of thoughts, return ever-so-gently to the sacred word.
4. At the end of the prayer period, remain in silence with eyes closed for a couple of minutes.
Hesychast Prayer ("quiet" prayer)
(This form of contemplative practice was widely used by the fathers and mothers of the desert in the early days of Christianity and is still very popular in Eastern Christian churches. At least two 20 minute prayer periods are recommended.)
1. Sit quietly, with back straight and hands resting in the lap, palms up.
2. Lovingly introduce into your mind the prayer, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me." (Note: this may be shortened as the prayer proceeds).
3. Let this prayer move in synchrony with your breath, praying the first part with your inhalation, the second with exhalation.
4. When distracting thoughts attempt to break in, persist with the Jesus Prayer. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, however.
Practice of this prayer may lead to feelings of warmth in the heart and perception of inner light. Enjoy. . .
Praying With Scripture (Benedictine Approach)
1. Relax. Settle in. Be aware that God is here, now, loving you.
2. Read a short passage of Scripture as though God were speaking directly to you in it.
3. Choose a phrase from the passage that strikes you and repeat it slowly, prayerfully, non-analytically.
4. When your heart is full, express to God the needs and sentiments awakened by your meditation. When you're done, read another passage and repeat steps 3 and 4.
5. If, at any time, you feel moved to simply be present to God in loving silence, put the Scripture aside and rest in God.
Here is a practice used by many at the end of the day to see what lessons can be learned and how God was present and active through the day. Set aside fifteen to twenty minutes at the end of the day for prayer and review of your day. A suggested format is described below:.
1. Take a few moments of quiet. Breathe deeply. Ask God to help you see yourself as you truly were during the day.
2. Look back over your day - not to see what you did wrong but to honestly acknowledge what was going on with you and others.
What happened? What did I do today?
How did I feel? Why did I feel that way?
Were my expectations and beliefs reasonable?
3. Affirm the healthy things you recognize.
4. Admit to yourself and God the unhealthy things. Ask God's forgiveness, believe it is yours, then decide if you need to apologize or make amends.
5. Use creative visualization to grow stronger. Honestly acknowledge the troubling situations of the day. See and feel yourself acting honestly and lovingly in these situations. Ask God for the grace to help you act in this new way.
6. Close with simple awareness of the sights and sounds around you, grateful for the good things in your life.
This process can be undertaken as a daily journal exercise or by prayerfully reviewing your day in your own mind. I like to take a walk before bedtime for examen. The important thing is to do it. It is a discipline, to be sure, but a very important one.
